


Drunk Fic lmao

by wtfsteph, yellowjelo



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack Fic, Drunk Fic, F/F, F/M, M/M, Marinette is a fucking savage, Multi, OOC, Reveal, Tikki is dONE, adrien is still a cinnamon roll, ayy lmao, fuck idk, i'm drunk, she likes yelling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-05-23 21:56:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6131410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wtfsteph/pseuds/wtfsteph, https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowjelo/pseuds/yellowjelo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is 100% how the reveal happens and also afterwards and stuff. U r welcome.<br/>(Basically, I get wasted af and write fanfiction.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I posted this on tumblr and I felt like it should exist here too. I originally tried to drink A LITTLE BIT so that I could get enough creativity to write the next chapter of my other fic, but I ended up drinking way too much and this happened??? I thought that I would regret it, but i don't. At all. It's art and I didn't edit any of it. Enjoy lolol

Itwas really nice outside. Like it wasn’t super hot but it wasn’t really cold either. Nice. But that has nothing to do with anything so anyways.

Marinette was walking home from school when she dropped her bag.

“FUCK!” She yelled as her bag opened in the sidewalk And all of her stuff including tikki fell out and onto the sidewalk.

“WHAT THE FUk MARINET” tikki yelled because wtf she was just dropped on the ground fuck u Marinette

“I’m Sorry tikki!” Marinette cried bending down to pick up everything that fell out of her bag. “I’m so clumsy lol”

“Yeah you are!” tikki glared at the earrings on her ears “why did I pick you again? What a mistake”

“Wow, tikki u savage” Marinette glared as she walked before looking up. Why was it taking so long to get to her house she literally liv d right beside the school. “Where’s my house”

“You went the wrong way” tikki rubbed her head from being dropped on the ground. She was fragile and this ho over here had just dropped her onto some concrete. “How did this even happen you live RIGHT THERE” she pointed to Marinettes house in the opposite direction.

“Duck u tikki get in my earrings” Marinette yelled at the Kwami.

“I do what I want” tikka replied, getting all up in Marinettes face because she couldn’t respect boundaries

“Wtf tiki you need to hide” Marinette yelled “someone will see u and know that I’m ladybug”

“Hey Marinette!"came Adriens voice from behind the two because plot development

"Whaaaat” Marinette turned around “h-hey h-Hi a-adriEN”

“Omg Stop stuttering!!!!” Tikki yelled before adding “bitch”

“Where is this attitude coming from?!” Mari yelled back because wtf tikki “I thought you were sweet that’s why you like cookies!”

“Because iM SO DONE WITH YOU BEING STIPID MARINETTE DUPAIN CHENG” tikki yelled

“Woahowow what’s that?” Adrien asked shocked. OH yeah he was there

“Dan tikki why aren’t you hiding Adrien sees you!” Marinette tried to grab the Kwami but she flew back

“Because I’m tired of you two IDIOTS not realizing who the other is.” She looked over at the model “Hey Adrien”

“Uh yeah?” He looked confused because honestly wtf was going on

“MARINETTE IS LADYBUG YOU DUM FUCK” she yelled

“WHAT?!” He yelled in shock

“Hey Marinette?” Tikki turned to her owner???? Miraculous holder???

“Ye?” The girl replied

“ADRIEN IS CHAT NOIR BITCH” she yelled before flying into Marinettes bag. She was so done with teenagers

“Omg!!!” Marinette shouted “chat?”

“My lady?” Adrien asked

“Adrien?!” Marinette gasped suddenly able to talk to the boy “you’re chat noir?!"He nodded

 "okay but you’re ladybug?”

“Duh.” She dead panned “literally everything is the same about me except I wear a mask”

“Oh.” Was all Adrien replied with. The two superheroes stared at each other for a second in awe.

“I can’t believe the love of my life is actually Chat noir” Marinette grew wide eyed at the thought

“Awh bugaboo im the love of your life???” Adrien smiled stepping closer.The people passing by stared at the two weirdos who were having a romantic moment on the middle of the sidewalk.

“Adrien is” marinette smiled “chat noir can go fuck himself :^)”

“Well I’m chat noir and Adrien so you’ll have to love us both my lady” Adrien put a hand to her cheek. Cute.

“:/” Marinette replied “I’ll try”

“Purrfect” he smiled. The two stared into each other’s eyes for like a seconds

“Hey can I see your phone?” Marinette broke the silence

“Why???” Adrien asked confused

“I need to put my number in it duh Adrien” the girl gave him a -_- look.

“Ohhh okay!” Adrien pulled out his super fancy phone and gave it to Marinette ‘Nice’ she thought and pretended to put her number in.

“Sooooo bugaboo, this is so pawsome” Adrien laughed “it’s the cat meow!”

Marinette looked up from his phone and scowled at his puns “fuck this I’m out”

So she slid his phone in her back pocket, because she’s a klepto, as Adrien looked at her confused

“Marinette?” He called after her “I thought I was the love of your life??”

“get rid of the puns and well talk” she called back, already a few feet away.

Adrien sighed and looked down because down at the ground because that’s what you do when you’re sad.

“Wait” he looked up quickly “where’s me phone?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SITTING HERE ON A MONDAY NIGH T WITH THIS NASTY ASS CHEAP WINE BECUASE IM BROKE AF SO HERE YOU GO I GUESS This is a thing now.

After finally finding her house like two hours later, Marinette entered the bakery. It smelled like macaroons and coOKIES in that ho. Tikki had to resist jumping out because she had already given Marinettes identity away to one person today and her parents were coincidently standing like right there and there were literally no customers.

She had to resist.

No matter how good is smelled.

Cookies were her weakness

She liked cookies more than marinette

She would make ladybug a cookie if that were possible

Fuck u marinet

ugghHH

She peeked out of the bag, but marinette, that bitch, caught her.

“Tikki I s2g you better stay in that bag” Marinette warned “or I will throw you back on the concrete don’t test me bich”

“Fuck u Marinette” Tikki whispered from her bag, knowing that the girl could hear her.

“What did you say lol” Tom???????? Asked turning to his daughter confused. Sabine just stood there smiling w/ that pink lipstick. giiiirl work it, what a nice color on u.  

“Nothing! Y u always in my business DAD?” Marinette yelled back before running out of the bakery and towards her room, purposely hitting her bag against the doorway on the way

“Teenagers.” Tom shrugged and went back to da macaroon making.

* * *

 

As soon as marinette entered her room she threw the bag on the floor. Tikki flew out of the bag,angry, she was so _D O N E._

“fIRST OF ALL, HOW DARE YOU!” Tikki yelled, not respecting boundaries again, Her wide, alien eyes were all up in Maris face.

“Excuse you,” Marinette replied calmy “I have a right to be mean 2 u. You told Adrien/Chat Noir I was Ladybug”

“Well someone had to!” She yelled back

“WELL I WASN’T READY YET”

“GTFO MARINATE” Tikke yelled and slapped her with her tiny alien hands. “I had to rip it off like a bandaid u pansy”

“OUCH! WTF TIKKI U LITTLE SHIT”

“ur a whiny bitch”

“now I have to deal with the fact the Adrien is also chat“

“literally what is the difference”

“Adrien is sweet and Chat is annoying af amirite?”

“They are the sAME PERON MARINADE”

“Well-“

Marinette was interrupted when there was a knock on her window trapdoor thing. She let out a squeak and grabbed Tikki 2 protect her

“WTF LET GO OF ME” Tikki bit Marinette. Doe she even have teeth? Lol idk. still hurt.

“Ow, Tiki1” Marinette cried out and held her hand “I was going to offer you as a sacrifice to the intruder!”

“I am NO ONES sacrifice” Tikki glared

“Well whos going to save Paris if im dead?!?” Marinette replied

“probably Chat Noir tbh”

“U know Chat can’t live without me.” Marinette pointed out

“Tru”

There was another knock at the door that interrupted their conversation. R00d.

“R00d” Marinette voiced and crossed her arms

“Go answer the door.”

“Why would any normal person be knocking on the door fROM MY ROOF TIIKK?”

Tikki shrugged at the question “idk but maybe they’ll murder you so I can b free from ur slavery lol”

“fuck u.”

Mari scowled at the kwami before suckin it up because she was a superhero and she could probably kick any murderers ass anyway/ She went up to the trapdoor and opened it.

“AYY LMAO” Chat Noir jumped through the opening of the door without so much as an invitation because he was an inconsiderate mortherfuckr.

“I didn’t invite you in.” She put her hands on her hips.

“Awh princes you didn’t have 2 I knew u wanted me here”

“excuse u chat nori” Marinette paused and looked at the camera dramatically, except there was no camera so she was just looking at a wall or something. wat “or should I say ADRIEN”

“what is it Marinette?” He looked at the same wall “or should I say LADYBUG”

“Aw, you guys belong together” Tikkis shrill af voice rung through the room “yOURE BOTH FUCKING ANNOYING”

“Sorry about her.” Marinette sighed “She’s going through something??? I think??? SHes usually reall y sweet???”

“IM JUST FINALLY SHOWING MY TRUE COLORS MARI” Tikki yelled “bitch.”

It was quiet for a moment while the two stood there like idiots. inf act, they hadn’t moved since cn jumped into the room so were they just there standing on maris bed? Wtf guys way to be civil

“Anyways!” Chat Noir said, jumping off of the bed and like a gentleman, offered his hand tor Marinette, who was still standing on the bed. 

“Nah son.” She denied his hand and plopped down onto the bed and sat cross legged. She pulled out his phone and tried to unlock it. “Well damn, I forgot my password 2 unlock my phone lol, hey can you see if you remember it?”

“Why would I know your password?”  Adrien-I mean Chat noir questioned, confused.

“idk” She shrugged and handed him the phone.

He shrugged and took the phone, which ironically looked exactly like his and put in his password to his lost phone. It unlocked after one try. “Lmao ur password is ladynoir4ever too? What a coincident!”

He looked at the screen “wait Why do you have a Ladybug background?”

“u have a Ladybug background? Wow whay a fangirl” She muttered, laughed and then coughed “I mEAN, I’m a huge fan of ladybug lol”

“I thought you were Ladybug?”

“I am.”

“Oh, okay. :-)” He smiled and went to sit down beside her on the bed handing back the phone

“nOT SO FAST SIR” She held out a hand like a stop sign, not looking up from the phone “I don’t allow cats on my bed.”

“:-(” He frowned before coming up with an idea. He quickly detransformed back into adren “How about now, my lady?”

“Okay I guess since ur Adrien and not chat nori rn its okay.”

“Nice.”

He sat down on the bed beside Marinette. She looked up from the phone and when she saw what was behind Adrien she scream “WTF IS THAT?!”

“AH WHAT?” Adrien screamed too and looked behind him to see Plagg floating there

“wheres da chees?” Plag asked Marinette and Adrein

“IT FIGURES A FUCKING RAT WOULD ASK FOR FUCKING CHEESE GTFO OF MY ROOM” Marinette yelled and started throwing stuff at him.

“Mair stop!”Adrien yelled and grabbed her wrist, gently b/c he’s still a gentlmant. “That’s my kwami.”

“ye, excuse u.” Plagg frowned

“I’m sorry, I thought you were Chat Noir, not Rat noir. :^)” Marinette replied, tunring to Adrien. He shrugged

“I’m a cat kwami duh” Plagg said crossing his tiny baby noodle arms  

“Yeah, and I’m ladybug.”

“you are????” Adrien said, confuse

“awh shit, ur right.” Marinette thought for a comeback for a second b4 turning to plgag ‘wELL YOUR HEAD IS BIGGER THAN YOUR BODY LIKE HOW IS GRAVITY EVEN WORKING RIGHT NOW WITH YOU BIG ASS HEAD”

“FIGHT ME MARINET” Plagg yelled back before adding “But get me come camembert first lmao”

“FUCK UR CAMEMMRET!” Marinette yelled and got up from her cross legged position on her bed and began crawling over Adrien to get to te rat kwami. Adrien just sat there uncomfortably because ehe was still a gentleman. “YOU LOOK WEIRDER THAN TIKKI AND SHE LOOKS LIKE AN ALIEN APPLE CHERRY BOUNCY BALL”

“hey!” Tikki appeared out of nowhere in front of Plagg “U WANNA GO MARINETTE”

“I’VE WANTED TO GO SINCE THE MOMENT WE MET, but not now bby I gotta fight this rat first”

“Aight” She replied and backed off because respect.

Marinette and Plagg entered an intense staring contest.

“Marinette.” Adrien whined after a few minutes. He couldn’t handle her body practically on top of him anymore. He was too weak.

 Marinette cursed, and looked away from the rat to see what he  was whining about

“wtf Adrien I was winning.”

“No you werend” Plagg piped up and took the opportunity to escape and look for cheese on his own.

“Can you get off me?” Adrien asked awkwardly. Marinette looked down and realized that she was still basically on top of him from when she crawled over him to get to Plag

“My bad lol” She get off of him and get back into her crossed leg position. She pulled out the OBVIOUSLY STOLEN PHONE WTF ADRIEN STOP BEING IGNORANT and started playing that cat tamagachi game.

Adrien smiled at how she was suddenly acting so comfortable around him now that she knew he was chat noir. Just yesterday she could barely talk to Adrein and now he was able to see her true colors. She was perf. He put a hand to her cheek and she looked up like O.O

“Marinade?” She nooded in question “Can I kiss u?”

“Wah? Why are you asking first?” She asked confused

“Because I’m a gentleman.” He replied, simply “And the fandom thinks its cute when I aSK FIRST. I like 2 respect boundaries.”

“Oh okay.”

“So can I?” He bagan to lean forward, but she stopped him.

“Adrien, this is a fucking childrens show.” She held a hand out in front of her “Everyone knows we can’t kiss until like after a year of a commited relationship.”

She ignored the fact that she totally already kissed him. He didn’t remember that one so it didn’t count anyways

“That makes sense.” He replied then smirked “then does that mean were dating, bugaboo princess my lady?

“sure” She shrugged and he put a VERY INNOCENT HAND OVER HERS AND THEY HELD EACH OTHERS HANDS SO HARD. “Adrien I-“

She was at a loss of words. How was it that within like a day she went from stalking Adrien to hand-fucking him? It was a dream. <3

“What is is my lady?” He turned to her “Cat got your tongue?”

</3

“Awh, hELL NO” Marinette snapped out of her daze and pushed Adrien off the bed before yelling “WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE CAT STUFF, RAT NOIR?!”

“I-I” even though he was on the floor in pain, his inner rat noir decided to come out and he grinned “I a-paw-logize.”

“THAT’S IT IM BREAKING UP”

“Is everything okay NMArinet? Toms voice came from downstairs, concerned, but also not really because nothing surpised him with his daughter anymore so he didn’t really care.

“STAY OUT OF MY BUSINESS DAD” She yelled back before turning back to Adrien “now transform into rat noir so I can kICK UR ASS”

“Why do I have to transform for you to do that?” He was still laying on the floor in pain

“Ur face is too sweet and innocent as Adrien Agreste.” She shrugged “it would feel wrong”

“then ill just stay adren ok” he thought and sat up from his landing position on the foor “and stop calling me rat noir.”

“fight me”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time 2 party

Adrien Agreste posed on on his bed, because you never knew when cameras were watching, as he flipped through a magazine about ladybug when speak of the devil(bug), the super hero showed up at his window.

She knocked on his window, and he jumped at the sound.

Scary..

The cinnamon rol jumped up from his bed, and strutted over to the window to open it, with a smile.

“hey boo” ladyboo greeted, entering his room and kissing his cheek

“oh hello ther my bug” the smol innocent child blushed at the kiss “what r u doing here?”

 “I got lost again lol” she shrugged

“But ur house is like right there???” he pointed out the window to marinets house, which was like right there.

“oh” was all she said and she turned to go back out the window but Adrenn didn’t want her to leave. Cute.

“Wait!” He grabbed her arm gently bEcause he hAD RESPECT. “bby don’t go”

“aw if u put that way” she cupped his cheek “i stay”

“Yay!” he smiled

“I’ll probably get lost again anyway” She sighed

“tru” he replied “hey can you detransform?”

“Por que?” she asked

“becuz I know ur marinette but the mask is confusing me tbh” he confeseed “because the magic and stuff”

“Oh ok np” she detransformed

‘fUCKING FINALY” Tikki yelled, freeing her self from those earrings. There was no space in them they were so tiny and her head was so big.

“Tikk!” Marinette yelled “I’m trying 2 have a romantic w/ my boyfriend gtfo”

(“Aw, boyfriend?” Adrins face went red at the comment. “I thought u broke up w/ me?”

“I change my mind” marinet sated simplty

“k”)

“Oh my b” tikki replied and turned to Adrien “hey boo” she kissed his cheek and flew off somewhere idk

wait where was plagg?

Who the fuck knows

Anyways, the two couple went over to that white fancy expensive couch that Adrien had and sat down

“Heydrien, Netflix aND CHILL? lmao” Marinette asked her BAE

Aden looked at the girl confused “wat?”

‘oH MY GOD, YOU FUCKING CINNAMON ROLL” she cried at his innocence “LETS TURN ON MOTHER FUKCinG NETFLIX™ and dO THE DO.”

“nefilx? Do the do?” Adrien was confused “what r u talking about marinate?”

“oMG UR SO SHELTERED WTF” she complained “if you weren’t so attractive af, I swear we would not work out”

“what r u even saying right now?”

“WATCH ORANG IS THE NEW BLACK WITH ME AND fUK ME ADRIEN™” Marinette yelled and pulled him to her. They were like inches apart from each other how romantic.

“I thought you said this was a fucking kids show?” he asked innocently “u wouldn’t even let me kiss u last chapter :-(”

“that was last chapter” she replied ‘this is now!”

“aw so I can kiss u bugaboo?” he went starried eyed

“I just asked u to fUK ME ADRIEN™” she said “Of course u can kiss me kitty :D”

“nice” he replied and began leaning in uNTIL

“aaaHHHHHHHH” Tikki screamed in the distance. The two quickly pulled apart aat the loud noice

“TIKIK?!” Marinet go up quickly to investigate and Adrien followed.

“wai-“ Adrien cried out as Marinette opened up a SECRET DOOR that Adrien had in his room.

But he was too late

Marinette opened up th e door and found tikki frozen in the middle og the room

“this is my worst nightmare!” tikki squeaked in fear “tHERES SO MANY LADYBIGS”

“wtf tikk” marinette glared at the kwamami as she pushed the door fully open.

She looked around the room and her eyes widened.

There were ldybug pictures on the wall and a bunch of ladybug dolls and a candlight ladybug sanctuary in the middle of the room.

“holy fuck” marinade was at a loss of words as she stared around the room.

“I CAN EXPLAIN” Adrien burst through the door behind her, embarrassed

“baedrien.” Marinete turned towards the boy and put a hand on his shoulder. She was wide eyd “forget netflic, fuck me right here”

“Wat lol?” he was so confuse

“this room is perf” she cry “take me right here bby”

“idk what that means but okay”

marinet thought that his naivety was cute and They looked into each others eyes for like 2 seconds.

“uuuuuuuuhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm” tikki tried to make her presence known “TIKKI IS UNCOMFORTABLE”

“no1 cares” marinette turned away from adern and glared at the earring slave before turning back o her BAE. "where were we?"

"idk" adrien shrugged

“FUk YOU MARINETT” tikki yelled and flew in between the couble as they leaned in to kiss each other.

“I s2g tikki give me this” marinnet pleaded “I hav been waiting to kiss this child 4 like ever”

Adrien smiled at the thought. His girlfriend was so swet :-)

“Bitch nah” tikki remained in between the two

“Tikki pls” marinett cried out because eshe neeeded this. Fo real

“tikki feels underappreciated” tikki replied “so no”

“MARINETTE THINKS THAT TIKKE NEEDS TO STOP TALKING IN THIRD PERSON AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MARINADES WAY SO MARINE CAN KISS HER BAEDRIEN” Marinette yelled, angry. That why she was lyelling. Because she was angry.

Adrien was still staning there

“wow marinet” Tikki held her tiny ass hands out in surrender “girl u need to calm down lol”

“#letmarikissadrien2k16” marinette whined. She was SO TIRED OF WAITING

“#mariwillneverkissadrien2k16” tikki glared before continuing “#lettikkikissadrien2k16” she turned to Adrien “hey ;)”

“uuuuhhhhhhh” Adrien was at a loss of words

“tIKKI nO” Marinette yelled

“tIIKK yES” tikki smiled and put a tiny hand on Adens cheek while he was just O.O

“bITCH” Marnette reached out to grab the kwamie, but tikki was too fast “if u kiss Adrien u gonna get rekt homie”

“u cant even catch me ho” Tikki flew around marinett es face to mock her “how u gonna rek me?”

“fine!” Marinette gave up “BUT IM PUTTING U UP FOR ADOPTION”

“I look like a fucking alien,” Tiki pointed out “No ones going to adopt me so ur stuck with me 4ever lol”

“ALIEN APPLE CHERRY BOUNCY BALL™” marintee corrected “but u cute tho with those big anime eyes, someone will adopt you”

“aw u think I’m cute?” tikkis anger vanished. If she wasn’t already red she would be blushing

“duh bae” Marinette smiled and reached out to caress the kwami she thought for a second “I changed my mind. I wont put u up for adoption. ilu”

Tikki smiled and her, tearing up

“#adrienisconfused2k16”

“#NOONECARESADRIEN2KFOREVER” Tikki turned towards Adrien and yelled “Can’t u see we are having a moment?”

“:-(”

“ilu2” tiikk ignored his sad face emoji and floated up 2 marinette and kissed her cheek. Cuuuuuuute.

Marikki 4 ever.

She then proceded to fly over to her ear, which marinette thought she was going to whisper swet nothings. But instead tikki whispered  ‘bITCH”

“tIKKKI!” marinette snapped out of her trance and tried to slap the kwami, but she just flew back “I THOUGHT U LOVED ME”

“Bich u thought. #LETTIKKIKISSADRIEN2K16” Tikki repeated, yelling, and flew over to Adrien and kissed the boy.

“????????” Adrien said afte tikki finished

“vIVA LA TIKKI” she cried out and flew out of the room.

Marinette looked over at he bofriend and scowled.

“I can’t believe that bouncy ball kissed you before I did” she thought for a second “Oh wait, no she didn’t”

Adrien narrowed his eyebrows. Poor boy just kept getting more and more confused “she didn’t?”

“Yeah, I kissed u as chat noir once nbd” she shrugged

“Y-y-you what?” Adrein went wide eyed. When did this happen? He was like 60% sure he would remember kissing her.

“Ye, I kissed chat on valentines day” she replied, like it was no big deal. She wandered around the room and picked up a ladybug doll and examined it. “it was like really cliché. I had to true loves kiss that ho”

“You kissed ccaht noir?” He was still frozen in his spot

“Yeah, I can’t believe I did that” she laughed at the memory and pulled out the pig tails on doll ladybugs hair and grabbed a brush on a nearby shelf and began brushing the dolls hair “having to kiss chat noir was so gross lmao”

“But I’m chat????” Adrien questioned

“Oh yeah, I 4got.” Marinette laughed “sill me. *cough* Having 2 kiss cn was okay”

“what?” he asked

“What?” she replied

“how dod u forget I was caht?”

“idk” she contined brushing ladybug’s hair and, chat noir, shit I mean Adrien AgrestE, walked over to her.

“Also what do you have against chat noir aka me?”

she thought for like 3 seconds.

“His puns make me REALLY ANGRY for some reason” she answered

“You have got to be kitten me”

“TF U SAY?” she yelled, hands gripping around ladybugs head

“Oh nothing” he laughed hesitantly so she shrugged and let it go.

Marinettte thought for like 6 seconds his time.

“U know, I remmebr when we first me-“

‘HOLD ON MARINETTE” Adern covered her mouth “those are origin sPOILERS”

“Aw shit, my b” marinette apologized “#origin spoilers, I remember when we first met.”

“As Chat noir or Adrien?”

“As chat noir” she replied “when we first met, u were a pAIN IN MY ASS lmao”

he attempted to speak, but Marinette put out doll ladybugs hand towards him in a stop motion

“But as Adrien,” she continued ‘U were a fINE PIECE OF ASS HOT DAMN”

“aw” Adrien replied and reached up to touch marinettes cheek

his homeschooling didn’t prepared him for anything further than that so he just cupped her cheek and hoped for the bset.

“When I first met Ladybug, #origin spoilers,” he confessed “I thought u were a fINE PIECE OF ASS too :-)”

“Aw thanks” she absently looked at the ass of the ladybug doll. nice.

“Then when I met marinate,” He continued, “I was like, y do u keep looking at my ass lol”

“tru” she replied and set the ladybug doll down before putting her arms aroun adren. “so we ognna do this or nah?”

“do what?”

“did u forget already?”

“yes?”

“We’re in this beautiful room,” she gestured to the ladybug merch that decorated the place “Under romantci candlelight” she pointed to the ladybug sanctuary “take my innocence, bby”

The cinnamon roll just stared at her blankly as she ran a finger down the front of his shirt

“My lady?” he asked

“ye?” she answered

“what is happeneding rn?”

“A-are you-“ Marinette pulled her finger away from his shirt “h-how whwat adiren I GIVE UP”

“What-“

“TIKKI YOU CAN HAVE HIM.” Marinet yelled out and excited the room. Leaving adrinr to his ladybug collection

There was a ‘whoop’ in the distance as he followed after mari she glared at him before the door to his room clicked shut

Marineet didn’t even bother to exit back through the window. She just staright up left tiikki, who was still somewhere in hs room, and exited through his bedroom door.

“ADRIENN AGRES!” he heard nathalies voice shortly afterwards.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its 5 am goodbye

The classroom was quiet as marinette wrote on a piece of paper. She had managed to get to school early for the frist time in her life, which she assumed was due to plot development, but she wasn’t sure.

Because there was no plot

Either way, she was there early and she was working on a plan that she titled operation: get Adrien 2 sin (as Adrien not chat noir b/c chat noir was sin itself tbh.) The title was kinda long but whatevs.

She didnt understand.

Why was it that as chat noir he had no problem sinning, but as Adrien, he was like a smol child?

It was like his transformaton turned him into a fuck boi, which helped no one b/c the dam s&m suit didNT EVEN CoME OFF

Marinetatata was pulled from her deep thoughts when that bitch, Alya, entered the classroom and sat beside her.

“Hey girl!” Alya gretted “did u read my post on the ladyblog™?”

“fuck no” marinette replied and scribbled away on her master plan

_step 1: teach him the birbs and the bees._

“girl, What is ur problem?” Alya  grabbed the pencil out of the orther girls hand to get her attention

“wtf ayla” Marinette glared and just tpulled another pencil out of her bagg, continuing to write an ignoring her friend

“MARINETTE DUPAIN-CHENG” alya raised her voice just a lil bit. “r u ignoring me, girl?”

“that’s mme agreste 2 u.” marinette corrected and gave alay a pointed look

“what” alya asked

“what” marinette replied

“am I missing something, gIRL?” Alya narrowed her eyes.

“nah son” mari shrugged and continued writing.

That’s when ADRIEN AGRESTE strutted his model self into the classroom like he was on a goddamn CATwalk. (Oh yeah and nino followed in behind him but thats not impotant)

“oH ADRIKINS” Chloé, who just kind showed up idk, ran up to the boy and wrapped her arms around him “LOVE ME”

Adrien just kinda stood there and let her hug him because he was awkward and he didnt know how to girls.

“awh HELL NO” Marinette stood up from her seat and marched down to the two “get ur nasty ass hands of of MY man. . .child” she turned to Adrien “hey boo”

“my lady” he smiled and pulled out of chloes grasp to grab maris hand and kiss it 

“what” said chloe

“what” said alya

“what” said nino

“what” said everyone else in the class.

Marinette turned away from adren nad yelled “mIND UR OWN BUSINESS.” Before turning bak to him.

She put a loving hand on his chek and they got lost in each others eyes, as chloe was still standing there lol, b4 adrien leaned in and gave her a nice PAT ON THE SHOULDER

He smiled at her brightly and went ovr to his seat to sit beside nino.

‘ _hes still hot’_ marinates eye twitched. she had to remind herself as she walked back to her seat ‘ _even if he is a PRUDE”_

“giiiiirl, what just happened?” Alya asked when marinetta sat back down

“Literally nothing” Marinette wined, banging her head on the desk

“Why are u suddenly able to talk to adren, girl?”

“Oh yeah me an d Adrien are dating now” she replied casually

“Whaaaat? sCoOoOop Girl, since when?”

 “Like a day ago idk”

“Why didn’t you tell me?!? GIRL?” Alya asked, hurt

“W-we’ve just been going through some stuff.” Mari sighed

“grl srsly? after a day?”

“ye”

“whys that gir?”

“I have like 0 dating experence  2 compare 2, unless u count that time with nathanael, but” Marinet sighed “dont evr date homeschooled kids theyre fuCKIN GOODY GOODY NON SINNERS LEMME TELL U I still love him tho lol”

“oh” alya let it go “ok girl”

Adrien and nino decided to be a part of the story then so they truned around in the chairs.

“Bruh, dude, hows it hangin man?’ nina greeteD

“hey girl” Alya replied but marinette didnt understand what he said so she ignored him and went back to her plan.

_Step 2: do something about that shoulder fetish_

“yo so I cant believe marientte and adrein r dating now wtf that cray” nino said as Adrien blushed and marinette  groaned

she scribbled down, savagely. 

~~Step 4: Kill all the nosey motherfuckers~~

She looked up and glared at nino

“Wow, I can’t believe nino and alya are dating” marineett inputed loud enough for everyone to hear.

‘ _good comeback’_ she complemented herself ‘ _Nice, mari’_

There were a few gasps around the room and marinette frowned at that bitch alya and surfer hippie before continuing “fuk u”

“mari that was so NOT lit” noni pointed out to the girl “we are not dating ur a liAR”

“Then mind ur own business”

“ur not an ocean lol” he said “so why are u so salty?”

“I s2g, nina I will fight u.” Marinette challenged

Nino threw her a peace sign before saying “bring it marinara”

“im not fuCKInG TOMaTO SAucE, EL NIñO” she yelled and literally, LITERALLY jumped over the desk to get all up in his face “I will wreck you Nino idkurlastname”

“guys pls get along.” Adrien begged and tried to separate them, but the salt was too strong between them so he couldnt 

By now the entire class had came down to surround them, yelling at them to fight each other.

Also Alya was over here filming the whole thing for her ladyblog™ even though it had nothing to do with ladybug.

Wtf alya.

Giiiirl.

“fuck u Adrien!” Marinete turned to her boyfriend, who was still trying to separate him. and glared at him before winking “No really ;)”

Adren blinked blankly, which made marinette groan.

She politely picked him up with her ladybug strength and moved him out of the way before turning back towards nino.

“Listen here, dudebro, im dating an elementary kid and I cant even get to first base” she tried to sound calm and poked at his chest “do not mess with me rn.”

“Ur cray cray lady” Ninio replied calmly

“OMG SPEAK ENGLISH” Marinette yelled, frustrated

“bro I don’t know any English wtf”

“well damn” Marinette paused, trying to think of what language they were speaking. “I mean French lmao”

“I am speaking French. Its not my fault u aint hip with the lingo”

“gdi, Nino” Marinette groaned and backed off “You got me there”

Nino shrugged and they stood there for a minute

“is that it,girl?” Alya complained “wheres the fight?!”

“bro im not really feeling it anymore” nion replied and marinette nodded

“girl, well everyones waiting on a fight so” Alya pointed out.

Nino and Mairnet looked around and noticed the crowad that had formed. They were staring at them, paitiently waiting for for someone to get rekt.

“We cant really let them down.” Marinette sighed “now we _have_ to fight”

“tru”

“hey insult me so I’ll wanna punch u in the face”

“uhhh” Ninoo thought for a second.

He looked beside them at Adrien, who wasn’t really sure what to do with himself so he just stood there confused. He truned back to marinade “I got one.”

“go”

“I bet _I_ could get to first base with adrein no problem”

Marinette blinked “I honestly don’t doubt that.”

“wtf marinette?” Adrien piped in, wide eyed “what even is first base? Are we talking baseball now?I don’t even like baseball”

“Oh, honey.” Marinette put a hadn on her boyfrieds shoulder “ur so innocent which is cute but also mAKES ME ANGRY NINI IM READY COmE AT ME LETS GO”

“Kay”

Nino raised a fist in the air to prepare a punch and Adrien was about to slow dive in front of him to protect his lady, when-

“what is going on here?!?”

Everyone turned to the door to see the teacher standing there, eyebrows raised. The class quickly went back to there seats in fear except for the only people that mattered.

“Listen here Mendeidgaf” Marinette jumped, LITERALLY, over Ninoa nd Adriens desk and marched up to the teacher “im all riled up now and ready to fight someone and if I cant fight nino im gonna have to fight YOU”

“Marinette Dupain Cheng I-“

Marinette held her hand out in a stop motion and Mme. Mendeleiev paused

“Agreste.” She corrected and winked at adrein ;) “Marinette AGRESTE”

“ur married?”

“More like shes Mari-ed lol” Chat Noir I mean Adrien pointed out before realizing what was actually happening. “wait”

He was like 75% they weren’t mari-ed.

“Anyways,” mme mendeleive continued “I’m going to have to ask u to go to the principals office for trying to start a fight.”

Marinetr groaned and was about to leave the room when an idea popped into her head. “hold on a sec”

She ran over to Adrien and grabbed both sides of his face with her hands, pulling him into a omg KISSSSSS *-* He was in shock at first and honestly had no idea how to do it, but he closed his eyes, guesed, and kissed back aw yeah.

Marinett then deepend the kiss and they started to make out before she pulled back with a smile.

Adrien stared at her all starry eyed because it was a MaGiCaL as his miraculous. <3

“FIRST BASE, BITCHES” Marinate held her arms out into two peace signs “BEAT U TO IT NONI”

She backed up to the door before leaving.

Adrien snapped out of his trance after she left and turned to Nino

“What up with all of these baseball references?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who tf knows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter brought to you by @yellowjelo
> 
> In hindsight this might be the best thing I've ever written-yellowjelo

Hnnnhnhnhnnhnnn marirananr thought as she lay in hre bed

Her boyfriend was the besteest boyfriend even if he did always smell ike chees

‘fuck you fuck head’ tikki sqeuales at her form the box she was locked in

Marinette was done wth tikkie’s shit kissing Adrien and all that was going to far

“fuck off you kissed adrien,” marineete rolled over onto her bed

JUST THEN A DRAMATIC THING HEPPENED

Chat noir brokle through her window

“WHAT THE FUCK CHAT NORI” marineet yelled jumping off her bed to look at the glass on the floor

“NOW I GOTTA GET THAT FIZED FUZE YOU”

Chat noir did no care about the glass sticking out of his leather suit, that shit gotta hurt breaking through windows is not fun my mom did it once and we had to throw out all the stuff the window landed on because owie anyways

Chat noir did not care bout the glass he walked over to marinere bed and smiled

“I needed to see oyu mew lady” he smiled and smiled and she sighed

‘next tiem you the door you fuck wad” marinette psued him away and chait stumbled

“LET ME OUT OF HERE CHAT HELP ME SHES KIDNAPPED ME” tikki screamed from her box and vhat looked over cuorousy

“What was that “ he asked

“ana annoying space alien thing ahtat I captured no worries bae youre all mine now” marinette pdid the chest grabby thing and leaned into kiss adiren no wait I mean chat noir

Man she was thirsty for his booty

Chat noir leaned down to kiss her but had to stop because she screamed

“:you got fucking glass in my hands you fauck wad fuck why did you break my window I hate you” marinerte jumped away picking at the glass in her fingers

“oh no” chat noir creid out” my life I am sorry I will chnge now”

And he did poof it was ot longer chat it was now Adrien and mariette still was picjing glass out of her fingers

Fucking plagg appeared and zoomed voer to #freetikki from the box because why the fuck not he loves her I dunno or some shit people ship it I guess theyre fucking weird ols ass alieans

Anyways Adrien whe to the bathroom to grab tweaer sna dmari was lke fuck you adirne

“fuck you adiren” just like that and Adrien was said because he lady didn’t love him and he hirt her

“serve you right bitch “ tikki flew over and got all up in maris face

“fuck you bitch alien thing how did you get out of the baox” marinette yeledd

“fuck you whyd you put me in the box” tikki yelled

“because you kissed my boyvriend” marinette yelled back

There was a lot fo yelling Adrien was scred protect him hs is but a small sunshine child he is innocence

“I wanted to get to thirst base with his hot piece of model ass but you stol that fuck you” amrinette continued to yell at the alien thing

What hapepend to plagg

I dunno

Znawyas adiren realize how much mari loved him and walked over and grabbed her face in his non glass hands

She looked at him and tikki glared at him

“what you doing boy “ tikki asked

Adrien kissed marinette and she was like 0////////////////0

And Adrien was like” im glad your jealous”

And mari said” :DDDDDDDddd” and she passed out from the kiss because damn she kissed her boyfriend why the fuck wouldnst she pass out

“smooth” plagg said flying out from who knows where

And Adrien palced mari on the bed and was worried

The end or not I dunno fu asked me to write this

You know he ship adrienette a lot

Fucking stalker

I love you fu

You are bae

#marryme

**Author's Note:**

> TBC???????!?!?!?!??????/1


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